Jan 05
Posted by admin on Monday Jan 5, 2009 Under Mom's Life
I read that you’re supposed to tell people you’re quitting smoking. Mostly people you’re around all day. And all of you who read the crap that I write. Apparently being accountable to someone is a good thing. Really? Reeeeally? I told everyone at work today. Not everyone but the ones that matter…ish. I of course received mixed reviews.
My friend Ninja actually asked if I meant it this time. OF COURSE! By the way Ninja code for Ng, Congrats on the wedding and baby. No I’m not getting you back. You’ll just have to wait til I do.
One person, my boss to be exact called me a fucking quitter! Thanks. I know I’m a quitter and for once I’m proud. It’s not as if I’ve quit bitching! I can still do that!
One guy suggested that I pick up marathon running. Uh why? I hate running. I do it now and then but really I hate it. And what a terrible way to celebrate making a healthy choice in your life. RUNNING? Why not suggest that I get a lifetime membership to Dildo’s R US? That, I can roll with! Ok I made up the Dildo’s R Us. There probably isn’t any such place. No I’m not going to google it.
Another one of my bosses enjoyed my suffering. I will tell you I suffered today. But I didn’t bring cigarettes with me. NOPE NOT ONE! I think the shit hole I work in forced me to smoke. Through 100 degree weather and freezing rain. I stood there in the smoke cage like a pillar of stupidity just to get the fuck away from my co-workers and the numbing sound of crap the came out of their mouths. I love all my current co-workers. I DO!
I made it today, all day at work without lighting up. All day! All fucking day. I only had two minor attacks, but I shoved food I stole from other people in my mouth and that seemed to help.
Cigarettes smoked = 1 1/2
cookies baked = not finished. still baking.
Jan 04
Posted by admin on Sunday Jan 4, 2009 Under Mom's Life
So I read this one thing that said that if you quit smoking you have to keep yourself busy. Nothing like lighting up when you’re bored. Has anyone but myself noticed that I’ve posted quite a few times in the last few days? Yeah I have in fact I’ve stopped myself twice. Yes twice today I sat down to post and I said to myself OVER KILL OVER KILL!!! Instead I went and made pizza. Yes PIZZA with the homemade dough rising with the smell of horrendous yeast. I hate the smell of yeast. So now we’ve all eaten pizza and every child has been bathed, hair braided, nails painted and 3 loads of laundry washed and put away. YES I put them away with the help of Fifi.
I’ve also watched the 5 episodes of the office while rubbing Leilah’s doggy legs. I had to do something with my hands and I couldn’t very well masterbate… my offspring are still awake. I’d have sex but then THE KIDS ARE STILL AWAKE!
I did just find a not so credible recipe for Starbucks new Truffle Espresso drink. Why do I say not so credible. Well I came up with it myself. Yes I did. I know it’s their stupid signature hot chocolate with a shot or two of espresso, milk, whip and chocolate powder on top. You can’t fool me! I do have an inside source… she’ll have to come clean with this sometime… MEGAN?! BROWNIES! yes I’m going right after I finish this post to make brownies then I can fit roughly two more loads of laundry into this oh so fucking blessed night. Why so much laundry? Why the fuck not and maybe just maybe being a smoker meant that I was probably rather lazy. Oh yes lazy. I have so much flipping laundry that after washing I just sat it on the futon and it grew. It became a place to climb, an arena for death defying jumps and stomping… literally stomping ground for my fat old dirty Beagle to loosen the dirt from his fat hairy paws! EVERYTHING MUST BE WASHED! So I’m fucking crazy I know it.
I just hope I don’t do work at work. They may actually expect such from me after I’ve finished with these withdraws…
Jan 04
Posted by admin on Sunday Jan 4, 2009 Under Mom's Life
It’s 1:22 I haven’t had a cigarette. Could be that I can’t stop coughing up this vile gooey nastiness… Mmm I hope there were people eating as they read that. I kinda want one. I’ll probably steal a puff or two from SD. He’s not doing to well on quitting. Maybe he doesn’t want to live as long as me? Just a thought.
So tomorrow we have to actually start 2009. As in kids to school and the rest of us to work. Blah! I don’t have much time left til I’m out of the AF. OK technically I have til August 1st. I do have quite a bit of leave and if I play my cards right I can clock out in mid June. That’s what I want to do. We’ll see. I need to find a job!
When I first decided to get out I was a bit sad. Then I realized that I was ready to move on. I appreciated the opportunities the AF gave me, the people I’ve met and what I’ve been able to do. It completely changed my life. One minute I’m dating my high school sweet heart the next I’m running wild through Monterey Ca with new friends and a new outlook. Now I’m settled, with kids. Living in a town/city I now call home. I have friends all over the world, I’ve met people from all over the world, I’ve done the most random jobs you can imagine and I’m not done. The best part, I’ve had the most interesting man at my side. We’ll be celebrating our 9th yr together in April. Most couples don’t last in the military but most couples don’t have what we have. OK either we’re lazy or were extraordinarily tolerant of our asshole selves.
So it’s um 1:40 and I still haven’t smoked. Do I get a prize for this? The good thing is that I’m not all that bitchy today. Yeah I’ve been a bit on moody side, don’t be surprised I can be a bit of a shit head sometimes. It all goes back to self deprivation and honestly I’ve felt deprived of air and the possibility that I won’t have a youthful appearance into my 30’s… yeah not there yet!
Jan 03
Posted by admin on Saturday Jan 3, 2009 Under Mom's Life
I went running today. Don’t stop reading the post isn’t going to be that boring. Ok I went running after we had gone on a hike. Actually Moses and SD went on a hike while me and Fifi hung out in the shade and watched the other kids play. She did play for a minute but she apparently needed to sit. She might very well have lost one whole baby fat roll had she played too long.
Once we got home I put on my slutty running gear, lets face it clothes that are for working out in only look good on people who are genetically blessed with unwarranted muscle tone and a nice butt. Oh and they’re slutty. Why do the shorts need to be so short and the tank tops so tight they can double as a sports bra? Could be to limit chaffing. Or not. Anyway I took Leilah with me. She needed to get out. She’s been cooped up with nothing to do. It didn’t take long to realize that she can never be a running partner. Currently she’s a year old. However she has problems already with her joints. Her back doggy knee always pops out and today while running her other leg popped out. I had to stop and pop it back in. Then we quit running. I felt so bad for her. She didn’t seem to mind. She would stop moving and look at me. Dogs are great aren’t they. If you ever feel like nobody needs you your doggy can come up with all sorts of ways to prove you wrong and apparently they have to be ways that would lead to eventual expensive surgeries. DAMN that cute dog!
Cigarettes smoked today - 2 1/2
Snack food crammed down my throat - none, well a few chips and two sodas. Looks like I won’t be fat Derek! Sorry.
Jan 02
Posted by admin on Friday Jan 2, 2009 Under Mom's Life
Yes i know that wasn’t a very nice thing to say about Facebook. BUT COME ON! I just read that Facebook finds pictures of women nursing their babies obscene. Though I personally only have a few pictures of my Extraordinarily large milk tits with babies attached, I’m offended that Facebook is offended and I haven’t ever even posted my pictures.
I really only have one good shot, I was in the hospital with Fifi. Moses was on my lap, fifi was in my arms and she was of course already attached. The kid didn’t want to come out and still can’t stand to be away from me or Trey for more than 2 seconds. Anyway someone, probably my mother who seemed to only take boobie shots of me got the most perfectly inappropriate shot of my huge veiny boob. Thanks MOM! I have it framed and sitting on the Currio Cabinet for all to see.
Fifi used to cry when we told her she was breastfed. She didn’t like the picture and wanted the baby to be Moses and Moses to be her. So of course she was teased. I couldn’t help it. She said my boobs were gross. And yucky. I do believe she used yucky.
You know what. I’m really not offended by this. Who the Fuck wants to put pictures of themselves feeding their babies? Really it’s beautiful, but so is sex and I don’t plan on taking pictures of the Man and I screwing… I mean making mad passionate love (gag) and posting it on Facebook.
